10 ways I was just an okay mom today.

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  1. I taught my five year old nothing today. I let the letter app on my iPad do that.
  2. I gave my two year old my phone to watch Netflix so I can type this.
  3. My kids asked me for something right before nap time and I told them I would get it with the full intention on not getting it, banking on the fact that they will forget they ever asked.
  4. One of them dropped some food on the floor… ate it… and all I did was say a lil prayer to the immune system gods.
  5. One of them keeps saying the word fish, but it sounds like they are saying “bitch” so I keep pointing as fishes and asking them what they are. Good times.
  6. My five year old knows full well what Snapchat is and constantly asks if she can get on it and send her dad some snaps.
  7. Snack time was cheetos. Straight from the bag. Not even organic.
  8. I microwaved their meal so I allowed the radiation to penetrate their food.
  9. I tried to say “shit” under my breath but it didn’t work out too well and I know they all heard it.
  10. I did not take them to to park today because it is too damn hot and I am too damn lazy.

 

Good parenting advice, right?

Feel free to pin.

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