I spent $60 on my toddler’s birthday party and she actually SURVIVED.

Crazy, right?

She didn’t die.

She didn’t resent me.

She didn’t turn around while we were all watching her blow out her candles and tell me that she hates me and need to find her a child psychologist stat.

I mean… this was her second birthday so I guess those things aren’t a total surprise. But you wanna know what is a surprise? That suddenly, our generation believes that it’s exactly what is going to happen!!

I blame Pinterest. Completely… totally… irrevocably all Pinterest’s FAULT.


Why do we kill ourselves for one day a year?

I’m gonna go with we do it because we want to look like we have our shit together.

Being a creative mom is like a right of passage…

You simply CANNOT be a good mom unless you know the value of mod podge and have you own check out lane with your name on it at Party City.

WHY THO?

We end up getting so caught up in this bullshit that we can’t even enjoy our child’s birthday. You know what a two year old wants for her birthday??? NOT A DAMN THING. SHE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW IT’S A THING.

Having a huge birthday celebration for babies is a complete selfish, stressful, waste of time. They won’t remember it. They don’t need it. Aren’t there still starving kids in the world somewhere? Why are we spending THOUSANDS of dollars on this? Yes. Acknowledge the birthday. Enjoy it. Get a cake, get the pictures that last a life time, have the cousins come and bust a piñata. Sounds like a great day. But I refuse to spend more than $100 on an event they won’t remember.

I promise you, they will survive.

 

 

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